Recently I had an embarrassing moment.
My husband was out-of-town, and it was my first day all alone from start to finish with the three kids. I had butterflies in my stomach when I woke up that morning. Seriously. Could I do it by myself? I wasn’t so sure. After not much sleep with my newborn and preschoolers who had a full nights sleep and were ready to roll, we miraculously got out the door to the gym by 9:30…all good intentions. 15 minutes on the treadmill (taking it easy my first day working out post-baby), then on to stretching when a nice lady came by to admire the new baby who was totally covered up in the stroller next to me. Only that wasn’t all she came over to do. She kicked me out. “No babies in the gym”, she said. She’s too young for the kids room so out we went. Well, to the gym cafe, that is, while the other two played blissfully in huge playroom for bigger kids.
It might sound like no big deal, and in the scheme of things it wasn’t. But still, the tears flowed. And flowed. And flowed. I think I was a bit embarrassed, and tired, and hormonal, and mad. “I am just trying to make it, lady!” is what I meant to say, but instead, I replied “yes Ma’am” and compliantly pushed my stroller off the gym floor, tears brimming over as soon as I turned my back to her.
It’s not all sad, though, because when I got to the cafe and slumped down into my chair, Jesus met me there. He had been with me all the while, and saw the whole deal go down, so He wanted to have a chat with His girl. This is what He said:
“God loves Me more than you can begin to begin to begin to fathom, sweet girl, and that same love, I consistently give to you. I pour it out without restraint. Rest in that flood of unfailing, unchanging, unrelenting love. It’s all around you. Can you see it? It’s gently and knowingly wrapping your tender and tired heart. Can you feel it? It’s cascading into every area of your life like a rush of mighty waters. Can you hear it? It’s there. Just open up, and receive.
I am telling you this because I know your needs and right now need to be reminded of My truth. Your heart needs to smile. I know you need to be reminded of My presence and my crazy intense passion for you. I want your JOY to be FULLER than FULL. I want your JOY to OVERFLOW, even in your fog of sleep deprivation. Even when you feel like you are not being the great mom that you expect yourself to be. Even when you get kicked off the gym floor and feel humiliated. Look at my smile, and know that my gift to you today and everyday is fullness of joy.
REST IN MY LOVE. TRUST MY WORDS. ALLOW ME TO FILL YOU WITH HEAVEN’S JOY.
I love you more than you can ever know. Now let my love wipe away your tears, lift your head and fill you with all you need to keep on running.” (I sensed these words from Jesus as I sat in the cafe reading my Bible and my heart settled into John 15)
Oh how I love Him. He meets me in the everyday moments and faithfully guides my eyes back to a heavenly reality.
He is wanting to meet you today too. Ask Him what part of heaven’s reality, the truth of God’s heart, He wants to share with you. Then pause to listen. Settle into His presence and wait. He loves to speak.