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Oh God.  Tears.  Oh God.  That’s about all there is to say.  All there is to do.  Even after a weekend of letting the news settle- there is still nothing more to say, than, Oh God, and hot tears from this mother’s eyes.

So that’s where I start this Monday morning following the events in Newtown.

Oh God.  I know You are good, I trust it in the deepest places of my heart.  I really do believe that because of the resurrection of Jesus, death has no sting.

But this stings.  On Your side of heaven there is joy with those precious ones- but on this side- well, this does not feel like joy.  This is the full-on-manifestation of our depravity.  Oh, God.

“Therefore, the Lord longs to be gracious to you.  And therefore, He waits on high to have compassion on you.  For the LORD is a God of justice.  How blessed are all those who long for Him, (who wait for Him).” Isa. 30:18

I long for you.  I come to You.  You are the God of justice- and Your justice is perfect.  I wait for You.  In the face of tragedy and grief, I go deeper into hiding.  Not into the four walls of my house and into the dark corners of fear.  I go deeper, hiding my fragile heart in the truth of who You are.  You are the God of justice and the God of comfort.  Those victims will not be forgotten.  All who suffer will not be forgotten.  Our broken world is not forgotten.

“…You shall weep no more.  He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you.” Isa. 30:19

You long to be gracious to us.  We call out.  You respond.  You rush to our side to speak and comfort and hold and heal and restore.  There will be fullness of joy wherever You go.  So, come, Lord.

You come as we call on You.  You are faithful to intercede and see us through it all.  Not only to see us through, but to teach us along the way- to guide us into real joy and real love and real hope.  You are our anchor and our hope, even in the midst of unthinkable suffering.

“This is the way- walk in it”, says the voice of the Teacher who is not hidden from us. – (Isa. 30:21)

I wait on You.  With all my heart and soul and mind, I look forward to and pray for the restoration and reconciliation of all things back to Your perfect ways.  I long for and live with the hope of heaven coming fully on earth- for Jesus, the Prince of Peace, to consume evil once and for all, to rule and reign as Lord over all hearts forever.  I wait for the justice that will one day be fully revealed in You.  I look for You.  I long for You.  Come, now, and heal our land.  Our families.  Our hearts.

“Blessed is the one who longs – waits- for Him.” Isa. 30: 18b