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~ Before we go any further, I must tell you something.  Walking in TRUE confidence as a young woman is not easy in our culture.  And I am very much IN PROCESS when it comes to being a “confident mom”.  Although I sensed God pursuing me with an invitation to inner wholeness and TRUE confidence years ago, there are still moments I come close to crumbling on the inside in the face of insecurity.  This blog series has been at the center of my quiet times for the past few weeks because God is taking me deeper into TRUE confidence in several areas of my personal life.  So where ever you are in the journey, you not alone.  Thank you for being here with me. ~


I’ve spent a lot of time at the pharmacy this past winter with sick kids, (and multiple times a week at the grocery store).  It takes about two seconds of standing there in front of the trendy magazines to feel about two inches tall.   

It seems that the very things that promote TRUE confidence and authentic beauty are NEVER on the cover of those magazines, but instead, we are barraged with false images of confidence.  Images that makes us feel like we will never add up, but keep us reaching, spending, and desiring this type of alluring assurance that we are beautiful, enough and worthy.  “Cosmo-confidence”, I like to call it.

I know in our real lives we understand that Hollywood and Reality TV drama is, well, drama, but still…it communicates to the core of our being if we are not careful.

It subtly communicates that affairs are amusing, lust is love, greed is good, and confidence is whatever cosmo promotes.

This series is about becoming a confident mom.  It’s about finding and keeping TRUE confidence, instead of resorting the commonly accepted “cosmo-confidence” and insecure living we so often see modeled in our pop culture.  So how do we navigate past “cosmo-confidence” and into TRUE confidence?  How do we reach for MORE and become the strong, beautiful, graceful, confident moms we were created to be?

Well, we can start by SEEING PAST COSMO-CONFIDENCE and calling it like it is:

  • True confidence grows from the inside-out and becomes more solid with time.  
  • Cosmo-confidence is applied to the outside and washes away as fast as the make-up we apply.  
  • True confidence stems from being certain of who you are and Whose you are, in light of eternity.  
  • Cosmo-confidence is based on appearance, short-term trends of popularity, and the exhausting game of gaining the approval of a person or group.  
  • True confidence is marked by quietness of heart and an ability to authentically see and love others.
  • Cosmo-confidence is marked by voices of comparison, jealousy and anxiety over the opinion of others.
  • True confidence finds joy in building others up.
  • Cosmo-confidence enjoys making other people (especially other women) feel small and insignificant.
  • True confidence is okay with serving unnoticed; trusting in a greater heavenly reward.
  • Cosmo-confidnece feels the need to make a show of everything, especially good deeds.
  • True confidence is based on a foundation that can never be shaken: our spiritual inheritance and value as God’s children.
  • Cosmo-confidence can be stripped away in a split second, and with the winds and rain of life, it sure will.

Hear this: there nothing wrong with wanting to dress well and look your best…in fact, I think it’s massively important.  But we will never find true and lasting confidence on the inside, simply by applying beauty to the outside.  

We must do some work to uproot our insecurities and replace our places of fear, insecurities and comparison with the truth of God’s heart for us.  In the next post I will address 4 ways that show you HOW to do the work of uprooting insecurity and get a solid footing in this beautiful thing called True confidence.


If you are into Bible stories, get this:

The wise man builds his house upon a rock, the foolish man builds his house on the sand.  The winds and the rains came…and only one house was left standing.  Cosmo-confidence will not stand when the winds and rains come, but TRUE confidence will see us through all seasons of life. (paraphrase from Matt. 7:24-27)

CONFIDENT MOM CHALLENGE: Wouldn’t it be great to make TRUE confidence a growing trend?  I am going to be tweeting and facebooking characteristics of TRUE confidence from this list over the next two days…would you take a few from the list and add a link for your friends to be able to read more at Up In and Out?  It’s so wonderful to be on this journey with you!