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Do you want to know the best way to really love your spouse?

Become wealthy.  

Not financially, but emotionally.

Let me explain.

I am reading Tim Keller’s book, “The Meaning of Marriage” and in it, he presents this idea of becoming emotionally wealthy.

Keller defines emotional wealth as…

“a sense of being loved so deeply (by God) that when someone wrongs us, we can afford to be generous, able to forgive.”

Let’s stop there for moment and digest this definition.

A sense- a knowing- a confidence-

…that you are loved.so.deeply, known so intimately, cared for so infinitely…  

Emotional wealth starts here- and it grows to the extent that you allow yourself to be loved by God.

This is big.

Because in life, and especially in marriage, our hurts and wounds can feel crushing.

But here, through the stained lens of our pain, we are invited to see the good news of the Gospel working into our broken lives – the truth that God’s love is bigger than our hurts. 

His love is more than enough for us, even when our marriages are hard and we can’t seem to get over the hurdles of hurt that keep popping up as we try to run this race of life.


Until we are filled with a knowledge that we are loved by an unfailing love,

until we get our heart-needs met in Christ,

until our core identity is grounded in the unchanging love of God,

we will not be able to overcome our hurdles of hurt or face our own fundamental self-centeredness that strangles our marriages.

But when we genuinely discover and experience God’s love, we can let Him hold our pain, and receive from Him the power to love in the self-less way that He commands.  (Matthew 22:36-40)

Because His love grounds us like an anchor, and empowers us with grace to discover the real “love life” He has for us- a life of courageous and free love that restores hurts by offering forgiveness.

When we let someone off the hooks of our hate and hurt with forgiveness, we find true freedom and true love. –> click to tweet

This sort of “emotional wealth” and confident love shifts atmospheres, brings transformation and ushers in the healing and wholeness we were made for.

So let’s do this- let’s become wealthy in love, discovering the power of being so filled with, and confident in God’s love that when someone (especially someone as close to us as a spouse) wrongs us, we can still afford to be generous, loving and forgiving.

Because in this “emotional wealth” we will find true living…true love.

The secret to becoming emotionally wealthy, is to become God’s be-loved.–> click to tweet 


I would love to share the wisdom of this book with you, and the idea of “emotional wealth” with as many marriages as possible!

1. Comment below saying that you would like to read The Meaning of Marriage, and you are entered.

2. Share this post on Facebook, Twitter Pintrest, or LinkedIn, let me know with a comment that you did, and you will get an extra entry for every type of “share”.

Can’t wait to give this book to one of you!!  I am grateful for you and honored that you would read and engage with me here on this little blog 🙂