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(Welcome to my Valentine’s Month Challenge.  This is the space where I’m exploring what it looks like to “wow my man” not just on Valentine’s Day, but everyday.  If you’re new, start here.  So glad you’ve stopped by!)

We joke about being roommates who high-five as we pass each other with a kid hand-off.  But we don’t joke too much, because we also know it’s an all too real possibility.


Busy schedules, exhaustion, lack of communication and stress can be major culprits that cause us to drift into roommate territory.  So, I’ve determined as a wife that I will do whatever is in my power to stay away from roommate land.  

Because roommates let mood or circumstance determine their depth of their relationship.  Lovers lean into love, despite mood or circumstance. (click to tweet)

As I’ve been thinking about how to proactively love my guy, this article got my attention.

It offers a quick quiz to see if you’re drifting into roommate land.  (the questions are kind of corny, but you get the picture.)  Then it gives great topics for conversation next time you have a date or time to sit down and connect.  It encourages you to use “I” statements in increase intimacy, rather than general conversation that stays surface.

In addition to quality conversation, I find that choosing sex when we’re exhausted and drifting apart is the best and fastest way to jump straight from roommate land into lover’s lane.  It’s simple and works to connect us in a deeper way every time.  Think about it- it’s the only thing that I can do, as his wife, that no one else in the world has the position or permission to do.  It meets a massive need in his heart, and connects us like nothing else.

What a sweet gift from a good God, who wants us to thrive in marriage!

I’m really looking forward to bringing out those questions for “date talk” tonight during our 8-9 hang out time to foster connection, and seeing where they may lead. 😉