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I am in the final week of my Valentine’s Month Challenge, where I’m learning how to wow my man everyday, not just one day a year.  If you are new, welcome…and start here.3 questions-2

So far, we’ve talked a lot about prayer, forgiveness, conversation, the gift he wants most, re-setting your sex life and the power of selfless love.

But one thing that I’ve discovered and MUST be included in this discussion is what is at the core of sex for a husband.

It may surprise many of us women to hear this, but sex is an emotional experience for a man.  We often assume it is primarily physical, but sex opens up the hearts of our husbands like nothing else can.  It is the place where we connect on a level that is reserved only for husband and wife.  It is a place where our emotional and physical lives collide with chemical reactions that were designed to bond us together.

That said, the question of “how often should we have sex?” is not primarily about the physical act, as it is about how much emotional connection do you want to foster?

Let’s get practical and speak right to the “emotional-language” of our man with these three questions.

1. “How often do you want to have sex?” (female translation: how often can we develop emotional connection together?)

2. “Really, how often?” (If you’re asking with sincerity, some men will be afraid to tell you the truth, in worry that you may reject them or their honest desires).

3. (Assuming it’s not “everyday, all day”, then ask him..) “Would it be ok if we did it more than that?”

And then, do everything in your power to make it happen.  (if you need help revisit this post: Sex on the Brain and How to Switch Gears from Tired Mom to Hot Wife.)

Because real love is not about just barely making a relationship work.  It’s about a heaven-on-earth heart connection between two people committed to each other, and thriving in life together.  

Sex is GOD’S GIFT to help foster that heart-connection in marriage.

So, go make his day with these questions.  🙂

(Here is an article about “How Often Couples Should Have Sex”.  It tells a story of a couple who had been married 10 years and struggled in the bedroom, but found that saving their sex life saved their marriage.  It is backed with scientific research that gives some interesting food for thought.)

3 questions that will make your husband’s day, or even year.  –> click to tweet