This faith-walk – it’s is not easy, ya’ll. But I think that’s one reason why it’s so worth it, so precious, so transforming.
I imagine Peter sitting in a boat, barely awake after a long night of being tossed and turned by rough waters, seeing Jesus walking towards him on the waves. And then, maybe through the noise of winds, and waves and whispers, he thinks he hears something, someone. Calling him to come. To walk on the water. To trust Him in the midst of crazy-impossible.
Can I be honest here? I sure hope so.
Lately, I’ve felt led to “step out of the boat” and to engage my faith-walk in some new and challenging ways.
…Some of my writings here on marriage (and especially sex) have felt like faith-steps for me. I’ve been living these words in the privacy of my home for years, but sharing them with you and the world-wide-web feels risky to my heart. What might you think of me?…
…I’ve also been faith-walking through some waves of fear and doubt lately that are causing me to lean heavily into God. I’m having to trust that He will speak, He will lead and He will provide, even when my circumstances and emotions tempt me to believe otherwise. But the words and opinions of my friends (on Facebook, at church, just in passing) can at times be so intense, so intimidating, so influencing…
…Oh, and also…I’m getting ready to launch a brand new website, and my very first e-book (in just a matter of days)!! (And did I mention I really have no idea what I’m doing…Other than just taking the next step of faith?) But still, I get scared about what you might think of my simple offerings…hoping you guys – my friends – like what I have to give, hoping my attempts at trying something completely new to me won’t be a total fail, trusting that I won’t sink when I try to follow Jesus into waves that are taller than me…
I have to realize the only way to move forward and go deeper in this faith-journey is to reach out and grab the face of God and to live completely consumed with Jesus at the forefront of my heart and mind.
I’m learning that the key to continuing in my clumsy but genuine journey is
to keep my eyes focused on Jesus-
not the friends sitting in the boat or the onlookers safely observing from the shoreline….
to be guided by His eye,
not the talk or the trends of today that will be gone by tomorrow.
Because it’s in the process of learning to trust His opinion of me, over and above any one else’s, that I learn who I am, and whose I am. It’s when I fix my eyes on Him that I can leave my insecurities behind and walk forward into the crazy-impossible…into the places and spaces where He will be glorified.
Living as a faith-walker instead of an approval-seeker equips and emboldens me to take one faith step at.a.time, and to live from a place of freedom and joy, even when the steps I’m taking feel a bit crazy and I’m scared to death that I might slip beneath the waves.
Because the bottom line is this: He who called me is faithful. (1 Thess. 5:24)
So, I’m changing my confession: from approval seeker, to faith-walker. I’m confessing my need for yet more of God’s love and a deeper trust in His unchanging nature. I’m leaning hard and awkwardly by faith into the ONE I cannot see, but the ONE I believe remains supreme.
(this song has been SUCH a gift to me lately- wanted to share it with you)
“Through it all- my eyes are on you. Through it all, it is well.
Through it all, through it all – my eyes are on you. It is well with my soul.
So let go, my soul, and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name…”